Mark Prentice, session and touring bassist. Do you need a

Bass player jokes · told with love, by a bass player

• How do you get a bass player to turn down? Put a chart in front of them.
• What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A bass player.
• How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But it’s a bit late, and nobody notices.
• What’s the difference between a bass player and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.
• How do you stop your guitar from being stolen? Keep it in a bass case.
• Why are bass player jokes so short? So guitarists can understand them.
• Why did the bass player get locked out? He couldn’t find the key and didn’t know when to come in.
• What’s the last thing a bass player says in a band? “Shall we try one of my songs?”
• What’s the range of a bass player? About twenty metres, with a good throwing arm.
• What do you call a bass player with half a brain? Gifted.
• What’s the definition of a gentleman? Someone who can play the bass, but doesn’t.
• How can you tell a bass player is any good? The band sounds amazing and nobody can say why.
• What’s a bass player’s favourite note? The root. Every single time.
• What’s the difference between a bass player and a pension? The pension eventually matures and makes money.
• What do you call a bass player whose band has just split up? Homeless.
• A singer, a guitarist and a bass player walk into a bar. The bass player was already there, holding it all together.
• How do you know the drummer is at the door? The knocking speeds up. The bass player is standing next to him, on time.